Life-Long Learning

When I turned 65 I got some old age perks.


In my previous post I explained how I want to be treated as an old person, and that includes discounts or free stuff if it's available.  My enthusiasm for free stuff and discounts has to do with being cheap more than being old, let me make that clear.  Just don't condescend or patronize me.


One of the old age perks is that I'm not paying close to $16k annually for health insurance.  Between Medicare and our secondary insurance, that number is just under half.  Another perk is that I get free rides on the Metra and CTA, the trains into the city and the busses and El/ Subway in Chicago.  That perk is going away, and I understand why, but it was very convenient while it lasted.


The best perk so far is free tuition at the local junior college.


I'm taking Drawing I.  I have been painting watercolors and oils for years, but the only formal art class I ever had was when I was a sophomore in high school around 1960.  It was very hands-on and I learned not to color in the lines, but other than that I didn't learn very much back then.


I'm learning a lot now, however.  My drawing (rendering; there's one of those new vocabulary words) is improving and the required self-portraits even look like me.  Doing them taught me that I have heavy jowls (I look like my Grandpa Bill) and lots of wrinkles in addition to those dark spots old people get on their skin.  I don't like looking at myself in a mirror for hours while I draw the self-portraits, but I soldiered through.  I'm going to suggest the professor create an alternative assignment for the old people who take the class.


I have picked up all kinds of vocabulary - and half of any new discipline is vocabulary.  I know the difference between saturated and broken colors, I know what contour line is, and I can stipple, hatch and crosshatch with the most mediocre of them - I wish it were with the best, but that may come over time.  If I live long enough.


One of the glorious things is that it's re-connecting me with the "youth of today."  Things have changed.  Big Time.


All but one of other students in my class are young enough to be my grandchildren or, if I had been both precocious and promiscuous, my great-grandchildren.  Some are still in high school, some are regular junior college students, and one is Ann, my wife, who's my age.


As in any class, the students have a wide variety of interests and abilities.  They are all genuinely pleasant, however.


What I notice most is their obsession with being electronically connected.  This takes different forms, but a lot of it includes texting.  Almost constantly.  I am not a fan of texting, but I got a phone that allows me to text without substituting words on my screen.  I text a few people, but mostly my grandsons away at college,on occasion, and I enjoy their responses.


The kids in the class text -  a lot.  They also listen to their own music on ipods, MP3 players, and those tiny, portable play stations.  One student always has ear buds in.  The professor asks him to remove them, but the student doesn't hear him because his music is too loud.  That guy misses assignments and has to ask a lot of questions, which leads me to conclude that when people multi-taski, most of what they do is pretty half-assed.


Despite their fixation with their gadgets, they are nice people and ready to help if I need anything.  I am really enjoying getting to know them.  And the professor is far more patient than I would have been - than I am or want to be.


What is most important, however, is how much I am learning.  One of the assignments is to choose a late 20th Century or 21st Century artist, research him/her, and let him/her mentor us.  We are creating power point presentations (PPP's) on them and presenting them to the class.  It has to be five to seven minutes long, and I've been working on mine.


I used to do kick ass slide presentations when I taught in a previous life, but I'm learning power point, the electronic version of slides.

I chose the living artist Lucian Freud as my mentor.  He is Sigmund's grandson, is even older than I am, still paints, and sells his paintings for about a gazillion dollars.  I fell in love with his work when I saw this painting Sunny Morning - Eight Legs at the Art Institute of Chicago last year when the new Modern Wing opened.  I could stare at it for hours and keep finding new stuff.


I'm going to include the image (I almost wrote slide, how antediluvian of me) of Sunny Morning - Eight Legs in my PPP and talk about all the art-y stuff in it with my new vocabulary.  This painting is about four feet wide and eight feet tall.

This very small portrait of Queen Elizabeth, on the other hand, is only about six inches wide and nine inches tall.  Despite its small size, Freud worked on it for over a year an a half.  You may note she's clothed, but she is just as vulnerable and exposed at the model lying on the bed in the upper image.


After I retired, my grandson David noted that I had been in school - either teaching, taking classes, or both - for all but four years of my life.  That number is now seven, but if I have my way, it's not going to change.


As always, please leave your comments below.  I love to hear from you.

Don't Patronize or Condescend To Me because I'm Old

Old people in our society are purported to be revered, but I’m finding we are not.  I don’t want to turn this into a rant because I’m not Andy Rooney, don’t have the eyebrows, and don’t want that kind of a reputation.

But I am going to offer some suggestions about how to deal with us seniors.

First treat us as you would anyone else.  We have the same parts you have, they’re just more experienced.

Treating us the same as you would anyone else means that you don’t tiptoe around us or walk on eggs.  We like a good joke, and some of us enjoy a good dirty joke.  Our vocabularies are about the same as yours (except for mine because I was an English teacher and mine is bigger, hah hah hah), and many of us use more crude words because we aren’t around children much to influence them badly.  My favorite bad word these days is the same as it has always been, and it’s really versatile:  I can use it as an expletive/ interjection, a noun, a verb, an adjective, and an adverb.  It doesn’t work as a p fucking ronoun or a preposition however.

We are old.  We know we are old (just like fat people know they are fat and people of color know they are people of color) and you can’t soften it with patronizing, condescending word games.  

I am not sixty-five years young; I’m sixty-five years old.  Please don't address me as young man: that’s way too condescending.  I am Bill.  I am occasionally sir, or Mr. Moser.  I hate the term Mr. Bill because of what SNL did to it years ago.  If you feel you must have a title in front of Bill for your children, you may add Uncle or Grandpa.  Or come up with something and ask me about it.

Just because we are old does not mean that we want it pointed out or particularly want special treatment.

My wife and I do not go to bed at 8 p.m. or dark - which ever comes first.  We do not eat at 4 p.m. to get the old folks’ special.  

We do, however, ask for AARP/ senior discounts.  But before we got old we asked for the AAA discount, the teacher discount (which I still get at Apple), the student discount (I’ve been  in some form of school for 53 of my 65 years, and I’m taking a class at the local junior college currently), the nice guy discount, the couple pairs of socks with a pair of shoes, or whatever we could get.  In my case it’s a function of being cheap, not of being old, and cheap is a completely different dysfunction.

We wear age-appropriate clothes, which for me means comfortable without being stuffy.  I wear jeans, shorts (well, maybe not age-appropriate), tee-shirts (but generally without much writing, and certainly without the word fuck or even FCUK on them), and sandals when I can get by with it.  I don’t own a suit, and don’t particularly want to.  I own ties (some from the 1940’s that I got from my late father) and I wear ties about three times every two years on average.  My attitudes about clothes haven’t changed much since I graduated from college.  I don’t wear my pants below my butt because I (I AM conceding here to old age) don’t want to trip.  I’m scared of breaking something, and they just aren’t comfortable.

My wife doesn’t wear miniskirts any more.  It’s not that she doesn’t have good legs (believe me, she does); it’s that she doesn’t want to have to always worry that she looks like some of those people in the viral email photos of The People of Walmart.  She doesn’t look like those people and never will, but she’s still a little concerned.  She is somewhat more conservative than I am, dresses more nicely, and cleans up a great deal better.

We don’t want to be given the check at a restaurant because we are the oldest.  Nor do we want to NOT be given it because we are the oldest.  We generally pay our share.  Occasionally more, occasionally less - it evens out over the long run.

Our cell phones are merely basic.  That has to do with cheap and what we like to spend our shekels on - NOT age.  We don’t go very many places and we don’t work, so we don’t need to have internet, email, puzzles, GPS, bells, whistles, and pizza take away on our phones.  Our cell phones, which we use whenever we want, will text if necessary and  receive texts and voice mail in addition to their main use - calling people, or the cops, or the AAA if we have car trouble.  

We got the phones a couple years ago and bought 1,000 minutes.  At the end of the first year we had to buy another hundred minutes to make the old minutes roll over.  The end of the second year is coming up, and we’ll buy another hundred minutes.  My wife will have around 700 minutes.  I text occasionally, so I have fewer, around 500.  Our phones will cost us about - amortized - $2.50 a month this year.  They do everything we need.  We still have a land line through our cable company with free long distance. I throw my money away on art supplies, not cell phones.

I don’t like organ recitals from acquaintances.  If you aren’t part of my family (extended and chosen), I generally don’t want to hear about your ills, your prescriptions, your surgeries, your aches and pains.  And I don’t want to tell you about mine.  If you’re part of the intimate circle, I love you too much not to listen - and worry.

If I do something stupid or that offends you, call me on it.  My true friends always do.  I find that I have more filters rather than fewer as I age.  I bite my tongue more and don’t say as many of those clever hurtful things that pop into my head. This is the reverse of conventional wisdom where old people say whatever they want.  I always have, and got by with it because people accepted me that way.

In short, my age should not temper your dealings with me.  I’m still in here.  Don't treat me so softly you create a self-fulfilling prophesy and give me dementia.

As always, feel free to comment below.

Foundation 153

I am a member of the local elementary school foundation, which raises money to fund special events in the schools.  Teachers apply and the Foundation153 provides grants.  It’s pretty simple - except we have to raise money to fund the grants we make.

We raise money with three major events each year: 

     *a 5K “Fund Run,” 

     *“Pastapalooza,” a spaghetti dinner followed by a concert from the various choirs in the district, 

     *"Spring for Homewood Schools,” an upscale dinner and silent auction.  

Minor fund raisers include selling popcorn at the local Christmas tree lighting, and selling water and milk at the Homewood ‘"ChocolateFest.”  The smaller events bring in only a couple hundred bucks each, but they help.

We are also the recipient of donations from local organizations, like the Rotary Club.

Last year we granted thousands of dollars to various projects that teachers proposed, and very few projects were denied.

As a member of the Board, I am obligated to do my share of fund raising and to work at events.  This spring I have been asking people for items for the silent auction.  I hate asking for money.  I have a hard time doing it, especially in this economy, but I have been somewhat successful.

One local business explained that business is seasonal and they just cannot make a donation.  I respect that and will continue to patronize that company.  A local liquor store doesn’t donate to groups that deal with children because  the owner believes it sets a bad example for kids.  I absolutely respect that decision.  He is generous in many other ways.

I get really irritated, however, with people who give me a vague answer about donating, and essentially blow me off.  

A local ethnic restaurant, for example, suddenly stopped understanding English when I asked for a donation.  The hostess mumbled something like, “Manager not here.”  I asked her to pass the information along, but they haven’t bothered to reply.  

A local financial company sent the information to “Corporate.”  They never bothered to reply.

But I find that local mom and pop businesses are the most generous.  Here is a list of people who have donated very generously.  I hope you patronize them if you can.

Prairie Tire in Chicago Heights.  The owner and his wife do not live in the elementary school district, and the business is not in the district, but they were very generous.

Sun Center Garden and Gifts in Glenwood.  Again, they have no connection with Homewood Schools, but were very generous.

St. James Health and Wellness Institute, Chicago Heights.  Not connected with Homewood School, but generous.

Leon’s Floor Covering in Glenwood.  Another Mom and Pop business with no ties to Homewood Schools, but generous just the same.

Chiropractic Care Center on 187^th in Homewood.  A very generous gift that anyone can use.

Great Clips in Homewood.  A very generous gift.

This is my public thank you to the folks who were generous and who support Homewood Schools.  I hope my readers patronize these businesses, a couple of which are struggling. 


You too can donate or attend the Spring for Homewood Schools April 9, at Ravisloe Country Club.  Click on the event for information!

As always feel free to comment below.

R.S.V.P., dammit!

I have to admit that I’ve had it.  Too many people fail to respond to invitations.

In the past we’ve used the standard R.S.V.P., French for “respond please.”  That didn’t work, and we received somewhat better results with R.S.V.P. or else.  A few more people let us know that they would or would not be coming with the added or else.

A few years ago, Shannon gave us a birthday party and used “R.S.V.P to [her phone number].”  The purpose, of course, was to get people to respond and then tell them where the party was.  But we got complaints.  People couldn’t come unless they knew where the party was going to be because they couldn’t drive more than three miles for goodness’ sake!

I tried evites, but they weren’t successful either.  People didn’t want to respond publicly or on line for some reason - or were to lazy to bother to respond at all.  A few told us they were coming but when I printed up the evite list the weren’t on it and it resulted in a lot more paper work.  Arrrrrgggggghhhhh.

We hand delivered the last invitation we sent,  so we could be sure the mails wouldn’t screw us up like they did in December.  (Our mail arrives after 6 p.m. usually, and occasionally ends up scattered across the neighborhood. When we get mail addressed to other people locally or as far away as Maryland I always write where and when received and re-mail it.  Complaints to the local postmaster don't seem to help.)

We're having a coffee tonight for the Homewood School Committee, which will make a presentation and answer questions about next month’s referendum for the elementary school district.  We wrote on it, “Please let us know if you’re able to attend or not.”  I think that was pretty clear.  One person told me he’d be there last week.  I corrected the date he had in his head, and he says he’s attending.  

Some people haven’t responded at all, including The One who brought a cake to Ann’s birthday party and then insisted we serve it, screwing up the planned dessert (I’m not even going to include a dear friend's comment on that gift!).  One emailed me and asked if it were at 7:30 in the morning or the evening.  I let her know it is in the evening, but she hasn’t yet told us if she’s coming.  Sigh.  Big sigh.  We’re going to have between eighteen and fifty people tonight, depending on who shows up.  

And then there are the people who say they’ll come and never show up.  I just don’t get it.

I might just as well post invitations on telephone poles because the response would be just as accurate.  Perhaps it would be even more accurate because all our utilities are underground in our neighborhood, and there aren't any telephone poles.

I don’t know whether this is just plain rudeness, or  people have the idea they don’t have to respond because we “know” whether they’ll be here or not, or because they don’t entertain and don’t know that responses are considerate and polite.

We could stop having guests, I suppose, but our social life would suffer because most people don’t seem to entertain, despite the economy and the wave of “cocooning” a few years ago.

We could use some solutions, so if you have any ideas, please post them by clicking comments below.  And if you’d just like to comment, feel free.  

I linked the referendum committee, and you can access it by clicking on it in the body of this post or by clicking here.

Language and Lent

Each year as Lent rolls around I think about what I’m going to give up.  A sign of penance and all that.  Last year I gave up crude words, and I was pretty good at it - but only for Lent.  But the habit didn't take.  As soon as Easter rolled around, the rude words popped right back into my speech.  I don’t sound like Gordon Ramsey, but I am sometimes a pretty close second.  This year, I’m giving up not writing my blog at least weekly. 

When I was teaching, one of my supercilious colleagues used to stand with me in the hall during passing period. He and I would chat.  He said things like, “Their speech.  Tsk, tsk, tsk.”  He of course was referring to students’ crude words.  

My reply to him was always, “Yes.  They just don’t get case.”  That always flummoxed him, but I believe that we have lost our ability to understand case and use it correctly in the United States.  I hear errors from educated people, people with Ph.D.’s and valedictorians who ought to know better, and on television and radio - NPR which is what I listen to - constantly.  I held and still hold the opinion (and I regularly used to tell my mother, who hated my crudity,) that just because I say, “Shit!” doesn’t mean I have a handful - or a mouthful - of it.  But my colleague still worried about the students’ use of crude words, and his concern was valid too.

Language is always in a state of flux, but in Twenty-First Century America, someone is devising new - and currently incorrect - rules that have to do with plurals and case.  Let me give you some examples.  I hear, “Me and him are going to . . .”  Me is never, Never, NEVER, NEVER! the subject of a sentence.  Nor is Him. 

Another thing I hear is “Her and I just  . . .”  Her is never, Never, NEVER, NEVER! the subject of a sentence.  In the first person singular, I is always the subject.   In the third person singular (female)  She is always the subject.   The pronouns Me and Her are in objective case while I and She are in nominative case.

Nominative Case means the pronoun is the subject of the sentence.  Examples:  She and I are taking a class (not me and her).  You can figure this out by substituting a singular subject instead of a plural subject.  You would not say Me is taking a class unless you are trying to teach a baby to speak incorrectly.  Nor would you say Her is taking a class for the same reason.  Nominative case pronouns are I, You, He, She, It, We, They.

Objective case means that pronouns are the direct or indirect objects of a clause or the object of the preposition.  Examples:  He gave it to me.  (not, He gave it to I.)  Me, here, is the object of the preposition.  (Anita Loos in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes had Marilyn Monroe say, “A girl like I,” but it was for humorous effect because the audience knew it is WRONG.)  If the object is plural, me is still the object, as in, "He gave it to my sister and me."  

Grammar is confusing if you never studied it or have forgotten it.  But knowing what the terms pronoun, case, nominative, and objective mean is not important.  

The easy peasy way to figure out the correct pronoun is to mentally pretend the object is singular and use whatever word you’d use in the singular.  If the pronoun is correct in the singular, it is also correct in the plural.  "I am going to the bank," not "Me is going to the bank."  Or  "She just combed her hair again," not "Her just combed her hair again."

Your job now is to apply these rules if you don’t already.  It’s Lent.  Go and sin no more.

As always, I welcome your reactions.  Just click comments below.

Annual Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

When we remember the past year, we realize our lives are comfortable - almost to the point of the mundane.  We didn't travel much - a couple local trips mostly - and stayed at home doing ordinary things. 

The best part of our lives is seeing the good things that happen to the people we love.

Our highlights first:

• Ann joined a couple of groups and has made a lot of new friends.  She is now a member of the local Tent of the Daughters of Union Veterans.  Actually, she’s a great-granddaughter of a Civil War soldier.
• She also found a group of people who have become hearing impaired as adults, and is learning American Sign.  One of the highlights of the group is their karaoke parties.
• Bill has taken a leap and started a small publishing house, Ramsfield Press.  The press sponsors six writing contests a year, with cash prizes and publication.  The first short story, “Cat Lady,” by Mary VanSwol, is published at www.Ramsfieldpress.com.  In the works is a cookbook/anthology of food writing with a planned release date set for the fall.  And the press is looking for good narrative fiction, if you have a book to submit.
• Bill also joined the Board of Directors of Foundation 153, which raises money to award grants for special projects to teachers in Homewood Elementary School District 153.  In our fall cycle of grants we awarded over $17,000!

The milestones of our lives include

• Dyed in the wool Blackhawks hockey fans Ann and Bill watched their team win the 2010 Stanley Cup!
• Grandson David returned from  his semester in Ecuador and will graduate from Beloit College next May.
• Grandson Jonathan is a freshman at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, with a view of Lake Michigan from his dorm room.  He is majoring in television production, working in university security, and learning a lot.
• Son Derek married the love of his life early this year in a fairy tale hot air balloon elopement.  He and lovely bride Jo are the proud parents of year old Ella and Gavin William, born in November.
• Daughter Shannon became engaged to Ray, a wonderful, kind man.  They plan a May wedding, at which Bill (with his internet ordination) will officiate.

We couldn’t be happier for Shannon and Derek!  What joy they and all our other chosen family, Tim, Karen, Greyson and Alexa, Theresa, Rochelle, Pegi, and Margaret, bring to our lives.

We wish you the peace and joy of the Christmas season, and good health and prosperity for the coming year. 

As always, feel free to post a comment below.  And be aware that we are trying to save trees by posting this rather than mailing it with our Christmas Cards.

Annual Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

When we remember the past year, we realize our lives are comfortable - almost to the point of the mundane.  We didn't travel much - a couple local trips mostly - and stayed at home doing ordinary things. 

The best part of our lives is seeing the good things that happen to the people we love.

Our highlights first:

• Ann joined a couple of groups and has made a lot of new friends.  She is now a member of the local Tent of the Daughters of Union Veterans.  Actually, she’s a great-granddaughter of a Civil War soldier.
• She also found a group of people who have become hearing impaired as adults, and is learning American Sign.  One of the highlights of the group is their karaoke parties.
• Bill has taken a leap and started a small publishing house, Ramsfield Press.  The press sponsors six writing contests a year, with cash prizes and publication.  The first short story, “Cat Lady,” by Mary VanSwol, is published at www.Ramsfieldpress.com.  In the works is a cookbook/anthology of food writing with a planned release date set for the fall.  And the press is looking for good narrative fiction, if you have a book to submit.
• Bill also joined the Board of Directors of Foundation 153, which raises money to award grants for special projects to teachers in Homewood Elementary School District 153.  In our fall cycle of grants we awarded over $17,000!

The milestones of our lives include

• Dyed in the wool Blackhawks hockey fans Ann and Bill watched their team win the 2010 Stanley Cup!
• Grandson David returned from  his semester in Ecuador and will graduate from Beloit College next May.
• Grandson Jonathan is a freshman at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, with a view of Lake Michigan from his dorm room.  He is majoring in television production, working in university security, and learning a lot.
• Son Derek married the love of his life early this year in a fairy tale hot air balloon elopement.  He and lovely bride Jo are the proud parents of year old Ella and Gavin William, born in November.
• Daughter Shannon became engaged to Ray, a wonderful, kind man.  They plan a May wedding, at which Bill (with his internet ordination) will officiate.

We couldn’t be happier for Shannon and Derek!  What joy they and all our other chosen family, Tim, Karen, Greyson and Alexa, Theresa, Rochelle, Pegi, and Margaret bring to our lives.

We wish you the peace and joy of the Christmas season, and good health and prosperity for the coming year. 

As always, feel free to post a comment below.  And be aware that we are trying to save trees by posting this rather than mailing it with our Christmas Cards.