New Year's Resolutions

I hardly ever make new year's resolutions because I seldom keep them and I hate to feel like a failure.

This year I am making some exceptions, however. In addition to making a couple resolutions for myself, I have resolutions other random people need to make. I'm sure I'm being hypocritical, but it's so much fun.

Rod Blagojevich: I will stop looking in the mirror at my hair, forget the special hairbrush that one of my aides keeps with me constantly, forgo the F-bomb in all its grammatical forms, and instead look into my soul, repent, admit my sins, and resign the office of Governor of Illinois immediately.

Fox News: 1. We pledge to report the news straight, with a conscious effort to omit bias. 2. We will report the news and forget about Lindsey Lohan, Madonna, Brittney Spears, and all the other celebrities that have absolutely no news value except the shock of their sex and drug lives.

All News Media: See Fox News above.

Dick Cheney: I pledge to develop compassion and lovingkindness. Then I will right some of the wrongs I have committed in the name of Haliburton by donating most of my fortune to aid a variety of worthy causes: Darfur refugees, AIDS research and medication for those who cannot afford it, the UN's Millennium Development Goals including donating mosquito nets, livestock to eradicate hunger, and a gazillion other worthy charities.

George Bush: I will read a book I book I have chosen all by myself from the library. I will read it all the way through and then think about it. When I am finished I will find another book. And then another and another. For guidance I will look at the list of authors on the right of these blog entries.

Wall Street: We will begin a life of frugality without excess, luxury, ostentation, and greed.

Congress: We pledge to develop our own legislation without the input of lobbyists. Further, we will read the legislation before we vote on it so that we know, for example, whether the Wall Street bailout plan has accountability or not, unlike the legislation we have passed in recent history.

Additonally, we will work together to improve the lives of the citizens of this country rather than push party interests and work to gain power.

That's probably a reasonable start. Now my resolutions:

I resolve to keep in touch with people I love by seeing them, writing them and calling them more often.

I will try to be kinder and more patient.

Happy New Year!

Feel free to comment on these resolutions or add your own by clicking comment below.