Vache d'Or - part 5

This is part five of the short story Vache d'Or. Begin reading the entire story five posts below. And please comment.

At the beach, the guests drank and applauded the off color toasts. Back up at the pavilion Ben put speakers on his ipod and CeeCee and Frank danced the first dance. Guests who wanted to dance with CeeCee thrust Washingtons, Lincolns and the occasional Jefferson into her neckline. Frank did a slow two-step with the deli customers for a while and tried to avoid Toni, but she shoved a Lincoln into his pocket and grabbed him for a slow dance all the while whispering into his ear. An hour later, the guests threw bird seed as the couple got in their car and headed for a bed and breakfast in the Poconos, about six hours away.

Frank was silent in the car except when he took a wrong turn and swore violently.

“Second thoughts, sweetheart?” CeeCee asked finally.

Frank smiled. “Never.” But he remained quiet at dinner except when he was sucking the meat out of the lobster or smacking his lips as he chewed. He was monosyllabic to the owner as they checked in to the B and B, immobile on the bed while CeeCee readied herself to consummate the marriage.

She took a quick shower, dried, powdered, and lubed, fixed her make-up, brushed her teeth, spritzed perfume, and put on her wedding-night gown, the black lace number she ordered from the internet, one with gold fringes and embroidered with little pink handcuffs. She stood in the doorway of the bathroom. The light behind her silhouetted her newly toned body, courtesy of a good-looking young personal trainer she wouldn’t have been able to afford if she hadn’t had her late ex’s insurance.

She leaned hopefully against the door jam, put one hand on her hip, licked her lips.

“Encore virgin, at your service,” she whispered, then waited.

Nothing. Frank’s lips made soft raspberries as he slept.

She a-hemmed. Still nothing. She reached behind her into the bathroom and grabbed the little bottles of private label mouthwash from the vanity, opened them, stepped to the bed and drizzled them on Frank’s crotch.

His eyes flew open. He bellowed and sat up. “What the fuck did you do that for, CeeCee?” Frank yelled.

“Exactly.” Charlene whispered so quietly Frank wasn’t sure he heard her. She opened her eyes in horror. “I’m so sorry. I was going to set it on the night stand for in the morning. Dragon breath, you know. I stumbled. I’m so sorry.” She lowered her eyes. “Did I take too long getting ready? Did you fall asleep waiting for me, sweetie pie?” She leaned down to sniff, looked in his eyes and ran her tongue across her lips and smiled. “Minty fresh,” she said. “Vache d’or indeed,” she whispered into his crotch.

Frank didn’t hear her. “It burns like fuck all!” he said, pushed the satin sheet off, and stood up. “And it looks like I pissed the bed.” He stomped into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He found the B and B’s private label bar of soap and a wash cloth and started lathering up his privates.

“Do you need a little help in there? Or should I fill this adorable heart-shaped Jacuzzi?” Charlene asked. She leaned down and turned on the tap in the bathtub. Frank bellowed again.

“What are you trying to do, scald me?” he screamed. His now-shriveled penis glowed bright red.

“Me? What am I trying to do? Who is she? We haven’t slept together in that hair-bald scheme of being encore virgins in the last six weeks and you’re too tired tonight? Tonight of all nights! I’m no fool. Who is she?” Charlene reached over and flushed the toilet before Frank had a chance to step out of the shower stream.